Ode to the boys I’ve created scenarios about to fall asleep

I am too much.

Too far into this relationship,

And I’ve left you behind.

You’re still in the back seat of my car,

seatbelt off,

one hand on the small of my back,

the other in my hair.

I memorize your face in the shadows of the streetlamp

Catalogue your fingers fumbling with my pants.

Record every hitch in your breath.

I can’t risk forgetting

the way your eyes crinkle when you smile

Or your hand against my thigh.

I’m world-building and you’re

The Architect.

But you’re just in the car.

You’re not in my room,

We aren’t running away together,

We aren’t defying any odds.

We are just

for the summer (if that).

Written July 2022

Art Credit: Helene Graham